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2004-03-24 | "Fear" from The Spark.

What are you afraid of?

What are some things that you fear in life? Tell about some instances where your fear and anxiety were strong enough to interfere in your life. What was it like to feel that intimidated or fearful about something?

What steps have you taken to overcome your fears and anxieties? Have you been able to help people overcome their fears in any way?

I'm afraid that I'll get violated again and unable to prevent it.

I'm afraid that if I get violated again, it'll be worse.

I'm afraid that my reputation will be trashed even more.

I'm afraid that the gossipers are still spreading lies based on their blind loyalty towards him.

I'm afraid that this trauma will kill me.

I'm afraid of violating someone else, by having the tables turned.

I'm afraid that if I ever saw my annihilator and his friends again, they'd gang up on me and insist that he's innocent and that I'm just being vengeful.

I'm afraid of what tomorrow will bring in the way of me never getting over this.

I'm afraid of trusting someone with my trauma and getting no support.

I'm afraid of what my family thinks of me because of my violation.

I deny the fear within, yet it's nestled in the corner of my memories.

I'm afraid I'll never wipe this trauma from my dna.

I fear that whatever steps I've done in reporting it or anything else was in vain.

I visit sites that help others who've been "spiritually annihilated" and sometimes I get positive responses back. I'm afraid of coming out at a survivor/victim because of the attitudes people have of anyone who cries rape, but I know I have to do something. No matter what I do about it, I still will not have done enough. I would eradicate the annihilation of everyone who ever existed if I had the power.


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