I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that in the first place. I didn't even think of your feelings at all, just my frustration with having nobody on christmas day, again. You shouldn't have been put through that, and it was my fault. I hated that you said no, hated being told no at all, hated that I went too far, no matter how often you said no. At that moment, I didn't care about our friendship, didn't even consider it. I figured that you'd be a good sport about it, and that you'd forgive me eventually, saying that I wasn't that bad. I'll never repair what I did to you, and I should've known better. I know you're mad at me, and you have every right to hate me. I wished I had handled it differently, instead of the way things turned out.

Disrespect, humiliation and shame was what I got instead. I felt bad that it happened to me, and I feel blamed that it happened to me.