Links / Buttons / Diaryrings Trust Your Instincts / Creator of Speak Out / Current Facilitator Guestbook / Notes / E-Mail Previous / Next / Current / Archive Add an entry About a year ago, I was at a novelty store and saw a special police badge for 4 bucks, sending a reflective glint at me. I quickly bought it and pinned it on, not thinking much of it. I was at a store, and this guy who was separated by another person in the line-up, hid behind them, eye-balling me and my special police badge. HA! Everywhere I go, perfect strangers would ask if it's real. I use to tell them no, thinking that if it were real, I'd have a uniform to go with it, but if I was undercover, I wouldn't be wearing a police badge out in public. Now, when a man asks I say, "Maybe". Who'd have thought that a cheap 4 dollar badge would make me feel safe? My friends were ignorant and judgemental about how I felt about it all, my mom doesn't know what to say, except, "Well, just don't think about it", but a symbol of faux-authority seems to scare people away. When I finally told the cops my trauma, they explained that I was doing the right thing: they were the only ones that understood that I was an open wound, vulnerable to everyone's salty words. The suspicious detectives though, only rubbed in the salt. So, I privately chuckle when I strike fear or paranoia into someone, feeling less vulnerable about some asshole feeling the need to unload himself upon me, then deluding himself into thinking I liked it, when my feelings didn't matter at all. Yeah, my badge makes me laugh. - 2008-06-27 Relating To A Postcard - 2008-06-26 Sexual/Assault - 2008-04-04 so easy.. - 2007-03-20 here - 2006-10-14 |
Best viewed in 1152x864 pixels Diaryland |